I think we can all agree that the latest episode of Bleach was tragically uninspiring:
Wow, Rukia calling somebody lame...that's like Ishida calling you white. Nobody is whiter than Ishida.
To give Bleach a much needed boost, I wrote a script that every fan can enjoy:
Scene 1: Aizen summons Orihime to his court in Hueco Mundo
Aizen: Orihime, you must betray your friends and serve under me.
Orihime: Yes Aizen-sama, I will do anything you say!
Aizen: That was easy...
Orihime: You are just too damn irresistible!
Ichimaru Gin: It's true.
Orihime: Oh Aizen-sama, release your zanpakutou! *wink*
Aizen: No, I am not a pedophile.
Scene 2:Chad is lying on the ground semi-conscious after his latest defeat.
Chad: grunt
Subtitle: I can't believe I'm more useless than Rukia.
"Yo soy m�s in�til que Rukia"
Tite Kubo: Sorry...
Scene 3: Pesche makes white jokes about Ishida's mother as they're running through the corridors of Las Noches.
Pesche: Yo momma's so white, she disappeared in a snowstorm!
Ishida: Please stop picking on me...
Pesche: Yo momma's so white, when she steps outside, the sun says damn!
Ishida: Come on, you're hurting my feelings...
Pesche: Yo momma's so white, she has RGB coordinates of 255, 255, 255!
Ishida: Whatchu say bout my momma?
Ishida kills Pesche. Dondochakka, who is spiritually connected to Pesche, dies too. Bleach fans around the world rejoice.
Scene 4: Hitsuguya and Matsumoto show up for no reason.
Matsumoto: Captain, how would feel about another obligatory fanservice scene in which I comically victimize you with my sexuality?
Hitsuguya: Stop that, I'm geyyyyy.
Matsumoto: Awwww, you're just being shy!
Hitsuguya: No, I'm seriously geyyyyyyyyy.
Matsumoto: Lighten up, you're the most popular Bleach character according to the latest poll!
Hitsuguya: That's because I'm geyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
Scene 5: Ichigo punches Kon in the groin. The stomp 'em in the nuts song plays in the background
Rukia: Aren't we supposed to be in Hueco Mundo right now?
Ichigo: No.
