When Naruto began its atrocious decline, my knowledge of quantum physics led me to believe that the universe was going to implode. Since it showed no signs of doing so, I realized that there must be some equal and opposite force keeping it in equilibrium. This turned out to be Black Cat:

While Naruto slowed down so much that it actually became less tedious to watch Team USA in a World Cup soccer match, Black Cat sped up until it was practically reduced to a laundry list of spoilers, plot holes, and scenes that were noticeably shortened:

Aside from the pacing issues, Black Cat nailed nearly everything else:

Well developed minor characters
At least one subplot
Comical victimization
Recurring random character(s)
Badass mid-episode transitions
Soundtrack by Yuki Kajiura
Lesbians
Stylish visual effects
An ending theme at 22:20
Dinosaurs
Graphic violence
A character vaguely resembling myself
A pimp in a white suit
Self-parody

Train Heartnet starts out as a cold-blooded assassin. Then he decides to stop killing people and make friends. What a pussy.

Sven Vollfied has an eye with mystical powers, a white suit, and the same voice actor as Holland and Maes Hughes. You know he's going to kick ass.

Eve is one of the few anime girls who doesn't suck. Instead of crying all day and drawing crappy pictures, she actually earns her keep and doesn't speak unless spoken to.

Rinslett Walker is the token woman. She's a thief, a liar, and she can't control herself when she's drunk.

Pit this crew up against a secret organization or two, and you've got more action than 23 episodes should ever have to handle.

UPDATE: Holy shit! Somebody translated this page into German!

952 physicists can't wait to collide Black Cat and Naruto in a linear accelerator