| Best Episodic Blog | Baka-Raptor |
| Best Editorial Blog | Baka-Raptor |
| Best Team Blog | Baka-Raptor |
| Best Manga Blog | Baka-Raptor |
| Most Influential Blog | Baka-Raptor |
| Best Dorama | Baka-Raptor |
| Rookie of the Year | Baka-Raptor |
| Funniest Blog | Baka-Raptor |
| Best Satire Blog | Baka-Raptor |
| Best Seiyuu-Oriented Blog | Baka-Raptor |
| Most Thought-Provoking Blog | Baka-Raptor |
| Best Blog-Related Comic | Baka-Raptor |
| Best Figurine Blog | Baka-Raptor |
| Best Art/Doujin/Visual Novel Blog | Baka-Raptor |
| Best News Blog | Baka-Raptor |
Announcer: You just swept all 15 BRAs! How do you feel?
I’m speechless. What an honor.
Did these victories help you get over your crushing defeat at the Anime Blog Awards?
Anime Blog Awards? Whatever might those be? Doesn’t ring a bell.
Really? You seem kind of bitter.
Me? Bitter? Nah…what gave you that idea?
The BRAs seem like an exact ripoff of the ABAs.
Oops, I forgot the rest of the list:
| Best Web Design | Baka-Raptor |
| Best Podcast | Baka-Raptor |
| Best Mascot | Baka-Raptor |
| Manliest Blog | Baka-Raptor |
| Best Blog with Photos of its Blogger | Baka-Raptor |
| Best Use of ShizNat | Baka-Raptor |
| Best Sellout | Baka-Raptor |
Some of your categories seem kind of irrelevant.
Explain.
Do you have a podcast?
Not yet, but I will, and I foresee it kicking so much ass that it only makes sense to give me the award now.
What about Best Dorama? Do you even know what a Dorama is?
Of course. It’s a monster from Final Fantasy VIII.
And I’m the best one.
Isn’t that a Torama?
No, it’s a Dorama.
Right…let’s move on to the next category. Have you ever blogged a figurine?
Well…errr…hey, what’s that? Over there?
I don’t see anything.
Keep looking.
Ok.
A+
You can look back now.
Wow! Sorry for questioning your qualifications as a figurine blogger.
Apology accepted.
So how exactly are you a rookie? Haven’t you been around for over two years?
Yes, but I’ve only had an RSS feed for 2 months. Anime blogs without RSS feeds don’t count for shit.
In that case, how do you qualify for Most Influential Blogger?
My website may not reach many people, but the few people who do read it see their lives change, like this girl:
“oh my ur web site rocks..a little while ago i thought i had such a bad life that i was going to kill my self…before i did this i decided i was going to search the net for one last and final time..when i stumbled across this website and i couldn’t stop laughing..every day since i ahve come on here to see if there where any new emails…because of this website i couldn’t wait for the next day to come to read it…i have never htought about killing myself since then
thank-you with all my heart and thanx for my life back”
Wasn’t that e-mail sent to Maddox?
Oh yeah. But I’m still influential, at least enough for other bloggers to rip me off. (Anime Formulas, Epic, Random Categorical Comparisons, Sponsored by Pizza Hut)
You recently pointed out that your page rank is zero. What steps you taken to increase your internet visiblity?
Selling out helped me tremendously. Instead of writing about anime and other stuff, I only write about anime now. I also got an RSS feed, which allowed Anime Nano to index me. So far I have two subscribers:
No, I will not unsubscribe
I also tripled my posting frequency during the ABA nomination period and listed 100 reasons to vote for me. I got two votes before that and two votes afterwards. Coincidence? I think not.
So you do care about the ABAs after all! Admit it, how do you really feel?
